leaves on the seine.

as usual today, woke up ard 7 and got ready for prayer.
i prayed at al-falah which was surprisingly full, considering it's in the town area and all..
the sermon was abt the evolution of Islam and blabla.
i was trying my darnest best to stay awake,
but it was in vain. it didnt help that i slept at 4 only.

headed over to my grandma's place, my dad's side.
had my breakfast thr the usual dishes, eg rendang, ketupat and what have you.
it's so....... routine every year.

but over at my other grandma's... the one whom im closer to
things werent gonna be routine at all...
i've got 8 uncles and 2 aunts on this side, and over 30 cousins.
and every year without fail, we would congregate at my grandma's place.
each and every single one of us.
since i was born, the moment i stepped into her home it was all smiles and laughter. happiness. love.
but it was different this time,
the air was still.. sombre even.
there were only a handful of cousins and only 2 or 3 uncles?
pathetic.
and pathetic was the word that i'd use to describe our attempts to liven things up, of course, to no avail.
my grandparents were distant, you know.. they had this faraway-look in their eyes.
but i dismissed it then, but i somehow had a hunch that today wasnt gonna be good.

an hour ltr, after most of them were present, we started i guess.
my grandad wld address the family then my grandma.
and she broke down.
i know i've nvr seen her cry in all my fifteen years.
but as she went on abt how the family is breaking apart
(cos during the past year there were many arguments, many heated ones.. which ultimately led to two families not turning up for jst now)
and yeah all of us are shocked la, we nvr knew it was this bad.
the tears flowed from my grandma's eyes, she was sobbing and sobbing.
i love her.
so much, i cared for her for the past 6 years or so, we went overseas every year.
this beloved grandmother of mine is breaking down.
but i kept my own emotions at check.
but it all broke, when my grandad, who stood tall against adversity.
my grandad, the pillar of strength, wisdom, the patriach i would say.
he too started tearing.
that was it, practically all of us teared.

and my own tears were like flowing for a good one hour.
such was the bond, the fondness that i had these two people,
i couldnt tolerate seeing them suffer, i felt their pain as well.
dammit. grow up you uncles and aunties.
they're in the twilight of their life.
let them enjoy such joyous occasions.
dammit these two people raised the ELEVEN of you monkeys up
with minimal income.
i say it's bloody disgraceful the eleven of you cannot care for TWO now.

you take their money
with promise of return.
empty promise.
asshole. return their thousands.
please........
let us not regret only when it is too late.
let us not regret only when we have lost them.
when do we learn?
when do we learn not to take things for granted?
when do we learn to treasure and cherish who we love?
appreciate, cherish.
please.



CHARLOTTE! happy birthday (: you stay suspicious babehh. and clara can continue fishin'
hahahaha.

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